Liberosis
Did you know that this word existed? I did not till about a week ago. It means 'the longing to care less about things, to loosen one's grip on life's pressures, anxieties, and responsibilities'. And Bingo! something clicked into place. This is exactly me. Each time my chronic companion, the clinical D (call it sadness if it sounds better) rears his head, I slip into my hibernation mode. I try not to let people who don't really know me, see me. I'm the highly functional kind, so no one usually gauges from the exterior but some days, the facade tends to crack. During those times, I try avoid social gatherings (not that my life is bustling with those) because in case someone discerns the crack, I'm sometimes subjected to well meaning discourses on 'look at me, I had so so issues, don't you see me bearing up? In comparison, what exactly is wrong with your life?'.
It's more than what is going on in my life. of course, the personal front is not all song and dance but definitely does not cloud my ability to distinguish between 'I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet'. My issue is I'm unable to look away from the 'man who had no feet'. Things amplify in my mind space. Am i making sense? I hope I am to the few who will read through this ramble. Because, the hope is to speak aloud and clear out the clutter.
The current West Asia crisis hasn't been gentle on my mind. Physically I'm safe and reside in a peaceful nook that is trying hard to maintain its stability. But, I cant unsee...
-the 'over a 100 elementary school kids and their teachers' who as usual waved good bye that morning before they left home;
- the one/two/three/more outdoor workers whose routine doesn't provide the luxury of work from home killed by falling missile debris;
-the civilians who were in transit before falling debris exploded them;
-the thousands of Indian expat kids who weren't able to sit for their 12th boards (of course, life goes on but would platitudes have been easy if my child was one among the many);
-the LPG impact on hostels/residential facilities grappling to 'feed' the youngsters who depend on them (the private instituitions that charge a loot might feature differently but the crowd they cater to is a different breed);
-shutters on the roadside eateries that cater to the gazillion gig workers whose binge working makes life easy for us but barely keeps his/her life together...
-'Amazon Warehouse Workers Face Hunger: Amazon India Workers Union'...the news article reflects on the lakhs of migrant workers who cant 'book' LPGs but depend on private players that sell 1-2 kg portable cylinders on which they 'community cook' or actual roadside eateries (not fancy thattu kadas);
-when friends and families residing in GCC mention in a matter of fact voice "we can see and hear the missile interceptions, the broadcast-based emergency alerts keep sounding...but life goes on";
-Human Rights Activists News Agency (HRANA) says that 1,464 civilians including at least 217 children have been killed...
All this and more amplifies in my mind even more so when I hear people whose lives are maybe just slightly inconvenienced, crib out aloud. I do understand that it is simply human nature to notice only that which inconveniences ones own daily living. Its not deliberate apathy or inconsiderateness. Its just our nature. And, like a dear relative with whom I personally discussed this honestly exclaimed, "Oh! I did not really notice all this. For us, it was just the cooking cylinder worry".
"I chatter, chatter, as I flow
To join the brimming river,
For men may come and men may go,
But I go on forever..."
As one grows older, these lines from Tennyson's famous poem makes more sense. Reading it in class, as mandatory study material, we do not really realise how deep these lines are. Like the 'The Brook' that flows on irrespective of what happens, life goes on. Hope life brings a better tomorrow for our children...
