Recently, during a casual mom & dot banter, we were just taking stock of the 'trusted adults' in our circle. The dot pipes in,
"Amma, I really like XYZ aunty but don't really feel fully comfortable with Uncle XYZ".
I say okay and wait...
"...Amma, it's not that he has ever given me cause feel uncomfortable...it is just that I somehow don't feel fully okay..."
She paused, I could sense the small glimmer of 'self doubt' in her own judgement. But I wait. It comes.
"Amma, am I wrong? Is it okay if I don't feel comfortable about someone who has not given me any reason to feel so..."
Listen child...It is perfectly okay. Remember, you never, ever have to explain yourself for not feeling comfortable about someone or something. Trust your instinct & stay away. You have every right to say, I do not like this and move away...always. Never allow anyone to compel you into validating why you feel something or someone is not right. Not now, not ever. And, that someone can be anyone, be it your close of kin, a teacher, your parent's trusted ally...whosoever.
PS: Was reminded of this conversation in the light of the ongoing Chennai Schools abuse issue...especially a survivor who recounted her harrowing experience. What struck her more than the incident was the fact that her parents did not stand up for her.
Start young. Look your children in the eye and tell them you are there for them, no matter what! Talk to your kids. Yes, both girl kids & boy kids. Teach them it's okay to say 'No' without guilt.
