Let me count the smiles and, some more memories pick...
I remember our boxing (rather butting) sessions. Little me rearing back and charging ahead, head lowered and targetted at your tummy...ouch! I did that even into adoloscence, I know I know...
I remember the trips to the cinema so vividly. Amma riding pillion and me standing before you and holding the Vijay Super scooter's handles. I used to concentrate and push at the handles honestly believing that I was helping you ride the scooter.I thought if I eased pressure the vehicle would lose speed and eventually stop :-D
I remember our very own customised water park :-D The well at Ochira. Tiny me squatting with all the eagerness of a puppy waiting for you to draw up those buckets of cool, clear water and sending it cascading down my head!
I dont clearly remember when and who started me on reading but I think I owe that to you (later on,several others helped hone the habit). I do remember clutching eagerly at the copies of 'Muthassi','Poombatta', 'Balarama'and all those vernacular children's literature of yore you bought for me. When at 6, I left to stay with paatti at Salem, the books followed me there too via post.Thank you! I am yet to outgrow the excitement :-)
I remember our solo journey to seek admission in a new high school back in Kerala. Amma was still mourning paatti.You used the opportunity to remind me how we we should take extra care of amma now that both her parents were no more around.In the euphoria of coming back to stay with my own mom and dad I admit I din't quite grasp the seriousness of what you were telling me right then.As an adult, I realise how kind you really were.
I remember the Sarkkara payasams and unniyappams you made for me. Nothing to beat those in taste, yet! I also remember it was you who taught me how to take a swag of Kingfisher or Kalyani...lol!
In a region that vastly expected women, especially wives, to be secondary citizens who were at the beck and call of the men in their lives, you sowed the seeds of self respect in tiny me by the equation you shared with amma. "You are a professional and an independent adult, why do you even ask me whatever it is you wish to do", is something I've overheard from my parent's conversation and picked upto be stored in my own memory box.
I remember a lot more things...but my biggest grouse with you is how you vamooshed away from my life, with no warning, no good bye! Happy 70th Birthday to you, my dearest Appa. Yesterday marked the end of my eighth year without you around.Even now, whenever a major struggle tries to pull me down I wish so hard you were here to say, " Don't worry! Everything will be alright". When physical pain overwhelmes me I think you would've found a remedy if only you were around! I miss you so!
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
"Happy" Women's Day
Finally watched the 'banned' documentary, a day ago. Had avoided initially simply because I was worried it would trigger depression once again. The way it did 2 years ago along with a few other incidents including the 5 year old's brutalization( at Delhi again, took place almost simultaneously, was ignored by mainstream media).
A part of me was glad it was banned. Wait! don't bring out the brickbats yet! India losing image or politicians losing face had absolutely nothing to do with my thought. I think we've carried that Ostrich syndrome long enough and more. The bodh gaya incident involving the japanese girl, the swiss cyclist gang rape in Delhi, the Russian woman assault by a rick guy etcetera etcetera ...we lost face a long while ago. The UK government foreign travel site warns its women to exercise caution while travelling to India because of "increasing assaults on women", Thomas reuters placed us at the 4th most dangerous country in the world for women eons ago. bah! what face are we trying to save in the outside world.Banning a documentary is going to do no good, at all. What worried me was the fact that enough and more emphasis was given on the views regarding women held by the rapist and their defence counsel. Counter it or not, those views are shared by en number of male and female dorkheads out there. And, I worried that a few "more" morons would find "extra" endorsement in the statements and decide to act it out too.
Plus, I also felt the documentary tried to score a few brownie points for the perpetrators. Example: interviewing the wife and child of an accused and airing her desperate, " My husband won't do such things. If he is given capital punsihment, how will I live? I will also die and also kill my toddler" (not verbatim) etc etc. Plus those shots on how the pathetic living standards and childhood deprivation could've played a part in grooming their personalities. Arre behanji, rapists in India transcend class, creed, and lifestyles. For us, it is more a patriarchal society's way of asserting superiority on what it deligently believes is an inferior creation. Don't we have oh! so many movies that show how the taming of the shrew hapens when the macho gives her a tight slap...lo behold! she becomes 'exemplary woman'! This, I felt, took the onus away from the men and put it elsewhere.
This being said, I'm glad that a foreign journalist decided to make this documentary and the bbc aired it. Why? That dorkhead of a defence counsel made his statement regarding setting fire to his recalcitrant daughter/sister two years ago. The only difference is that this time it made a lot of us sit up, listen closely, and retaliate. Also saw a newsreport that said the Bar council too 'finally' decided to issue atleast a show cause or face the music notice to these guys. I also hope the freshly raked up furore will instigate our politicians and lawmakers to do something even if it just to save face amidst the western world.
I saw a few comments floating around saying how we were over emphasising this one case of rape while thousands of others get neglected. My take is, if atleast one makes us raise arms against a common cause, makes the ones weilding power sit up, take notice, and try bring about something that would benefit us all, why are you complaining?
PS: It was heartwarming to listen to Jyoti's parents views on the girl child, heart wrenching to see their pain. I bow to their quiet stoicism. RIP Jyoti. I hope we learn to treat our women as living beings capable of physical/emotional pain. Devi, daughter, wife, sister, etc etc jaaye baad main. Living breathing human being, bas woh kaafi hain.
A part of me was glad it was banned. Wait! don't bring out the brickbats yet! India losing image or politicians losing face had absolutely nothing to do with my thought. I think we've carried that Ostrich syndrome long enough and more. The bodh gaya incident involving the japanese girl, the swiss cyclist gang rape in Delhi, the Russian woman assault by a rick guy etcetera etcetera ...we lost face a long while ago. The UK government foreign travel site warns its women to exercise caution while travelling to India because of "increasing assaults on women", Thomas reuters placed us at the 4th most dangerous country in the world for women eons ago. bah! what face are we trying to save in the outside world.Banning a documentary is going to do no good, at all. What worried me was the fact that enough and more emphasis was given on the views regarding women held by the rapist and their defence counsel. Counter it or not, those views are shared by en number of male and female dorkheads out there. And, I worried that a few "more" morons would find "extra" endorsement in the statements and decide to act it out too.
Plus, I also felt the documentary tried to score a few brownie points for the perpetrators. Example: interviewing the wife and child of an accused and airing her desperate, " My husband won't do such things. If he is given capital punsihment, how will I live? I will also die and also kill my toddler" (not verbatim) etc etc. Plus those shots on how the pathetic living standards and childhood deprivation could've played a part in grooming their personalities. Arre behanji, rapists in India transcend class, creed, and lifestyles. For us, it is more a patriarchal society's way of asserting superiority on what it deligently believes is an inferior creation. Don't we have oh! so many movies that show how the taming of the shrew hapens when the macho gives her a tight slap...lo behold! she becomes 'exemplary woman'! This, I felt, took the onus away from the men and put it elsewhere.
This being said, I'm glad that a foreign journalist decided to make this documentary and the bbc aired it. Why? That dorkhead of a defence counsel made his statement regarding setting fire to his recalcitrant daughter/sister two years ago. The only difference is that this time it made a lot of us sit up, listen closely, and retaliate. Also saw a newsreport that said the Bar council too 'finally' decided to issue atleast a show cause or face the music notice to these guys. I also hope the freshly raked up furore will instigate our politicians and lawmakers to do something even if it just to save face amidst the western world.
I saw a few comments floating around saying how we were over emphasising this one case of rape while thousands of others get neglected. My take is, if atleast one makes us raise arms against a common cause, makes the ones weilding power sit up, take notice, and try bring about something that would benefit us all, why are you complaining?
PS: It was heartwarming to listen to Jyoti's parents views on the girl child, heart wrenching to see their pain. I bow to their quiet stoicism. RIP Jyoti. I hope we learn to treat our women as living beings capable of physical/emotional pain. Devi, daughter, wife, sister, etc etc jaaye baad main. Living breathing human being, bas woh kaafi hain.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
